


John my beloved

by maevesdarling



Category: The Terror (TV 2018), The Terror - Dan Simmons
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bisexual Character, Cuddling & Snuggling, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Gay Character, Getting Together, M/M, Minor Character Death, Older Man/Younger Man, One Shot, Past Relationship(s), Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-20 06:20:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20223220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maevesdarling/pseuds/maevesdarling
Summary: It's a time for realization for both Henry and John.(...)I- it's not about the book... I... I think I'm in love with you!" Henry blurted out, his head was spinning as he finally said those words. He had been thinking about the best way to breach this topic for weeks, however this was not how he had imagined it to go. In his mind it was after finishing a romantic novel about two people defying all odds to be with each other. Henry would put the book aside with a smile, his hands finding John's. He'd slowly inch closer until he would be practically sitting in the older man's lap and then whisper softly into his ear. This however was far from his imagination. (...)





	John my beloved

**Author's Note:**

> Titel is from the song 'John my beloved' by Sufjan Stevens because I saw a Bridglar playlist that had this song on it and I can only agree the song has some strong Bridgens / Peglar energy. I hope you enjoy reading.
> 
> I know some people call Henry "Harry" but I don't want anyone who only just got into the show to confuse him with Goodsir so I'm sticking with Henry.

Henry struggled to juggle the two old leather bound books, feather quill and ink pot in his hands as he knocked on the familiar wooden door.

There was a shuffling noise from inside the apartment and John's muffled voice calling out to him. "One second!"

He waited. Puffs of cold air left his mouth. The boarding house John was renting during his time on shore was rather old, the windows wouldn't open entirely during the summer, however they let cold air in during the winter. Floors creaked and sometimes John's old stove would break in the middle of dinner preparations. But the rent was low and nobody paid any attention to what he was doing behind closed doors.

It had been last summer when Henry heard the news that John Bridgens was currently staying in London, that he decided to visit his friend. They had known each other for a few years now, both served abroad the famous HMS Beagle. Bridgens had been so kind to give reading lessons to a few of the ships boys, Henry had been curious and soon started to attend these lessons as well. He had received some strange looks from his fellow shipmates when they saw him surrounded by all these young boys, but Henry didn't cared, he was way to fascinated with the stories Bridgens was giving them to read. He soaked up these adventure stories of young greek men fighting mythical creatures, of hopeless romances and tragic lovestories. John Bridgens was the perfect teacher, always patient and fair with his students. Now back in England they had started up this tradition again. Every Monday and Wednesday Henry would get up before the sun had even risen and walk all the way to the shabby boarding house. He would stay until the sun was beginning to set before he'd start his walk back home, smiling from ear to ear, a faint blush on his cheeks. Over the weeks the brunette man had realized that maybe, just maybe, he was starting to feel more than just adoration for his older friend.

The door opened with a loud creaking sound, startling Henry from his thoughts, to reveal John in nothing safe for a long white blouse, dark pants and boots. His hair was open and he looked like he had just fallen out of his bed, Henry had to hold himself back from cradling a hand through the older man's messy hair, grey hairs had started to come through over the past few years.

"I'm sorry, Henry, I overslept." The older man admitted as if he had been reading the younger mans thoughts. "Don't worry John, I was early today."

Henry replied as he struggled to place his books on the big, wobbly table in the middle of the room.

The apartment was warmer than expected in late autumn, Henry was already beginning to sweat in his thick coat, scarf and sweater. He hastily got out of the coat and hung it over one of the chairs, followed by the scarf.

There were four chairs in total, although John had admitted he rarely used more than two, most of their friends were at sea or lived too far away to visit.

The huge stove was making funny noises again, probably ready to break any moment now, it stood on the far left side of the room, along with two counters and a cupboard. The cupboard was placed to visibly divide the kitchen area from the rest of the apartment.

Next came the table Henry was currently sitting at. A beautiful, worn rug underneath helped to silence their feet shuffling around the table, or Henry's nervous leg bouncing that started when he got stuck on a word and couldn't find out it's meaning until John patiently explained it to him.

The rug had been a gift from someone John had met during a sail to south america. His apartment was stuffed to the brim with gifts and trinkets. A hand woven basket, drums, books in languages neither of them spoke, even small statues and rocks. Most of them cluttered the space on John's enormous bookshelf. It took up the entire space between the kitchen area and John's sleeping area and was stuffed to the brim with books. Sometimes when Henry got frustrated and they'd get stuck on a passage for hours John would close the book with a smile and guide him over to sit on his bed. Then he'd go to the bookshelf and pick up a book to read to the younger man.

"Did you have breakfast yet?" John asked concerned. "I, uh, no." Henry admitted rather startled. The older man shook his head and sighed.

"I made some porridge. We can share if you want." Henry quickly shook his head. He couldn't eat John's food off the older mans plate!

"Oh no please, I don't want to be a burden, I'll just buy myself a loaf of bread when I get home-"

"Henry." John's voice was full of concern. "You'd have to go all morning without food, and the way back takes over half an hour. I'm sorry but I have to insist." He said, already gathering two plates from the cupboard.

He then placed a fragile looking porcelain cup filled with steaming hot coffee next to the younger man. "Here, the porridge will be ready in a moment."

Henry's stomach fluttered at the older man's tone. "John, dear, I ain't no captain." He reminded his friend softly. John startled and blinked in confusion he probably hadn't even noticed how casually he had slipped back into his steward's voice, all soft and warm, not that he wasn't talking in a warm voice with Henry, but there was something different in the way he said praises towards his younger friend when he finished another of his many books and the way he would tell an entire room of high ranking officers their tea would be ready any second now.

John kneeled down to gather two plates from the cupboard. The younger man's eyes moved on their own account he couldn't help but stare at the older man's backside.

John was lean and muscular for his age, soft in the right places and well toned in others, he had a nicely shaped bum Henry thought, his mouth going dry. _No_! He quickly busied himself with studying the book in his hands. He shouldn't be doing this, he couldn't! John trusted him and yet here he was checking him out behind his back like some piece of meat hanging in the butchers window.

_Oh look Henry, there's a smudge on the cover that you haven't noticed before,_ his own voice told him. His fingernails scratched over the old surface trying to get the stain off. The sound of John's knees shuffling off the ground told him it was safe to look again.

When he dared to look up from the book his dark eyes found John's. The man was leaning against the cupboard, watching him with a frown on his face. "Is everything all right, Henry? You seem a bit…troubled."

Henry could feel himself blushing furiously. John noticed, _oh god no, he noticed how I stared at him and now he's going to throw me out of his apartment_, was all he thought.

"Wh- what? Who me? No, I'm good, believe me I'm- I'm perfectly fine." He stammered. Why couldn't they just eat the damned porridge and go on with their lesson?

The frown on John's forehead grew and he let go of the cupboard to cross the short distance between them, taking Henry's hands into his own. It felt good, being this close to his old friend, Henry thought, John's hands felt soft, softer than he'd thought. Years of wearing gloves for his work had left John with softer hands then any other sailor, only his fingertips were slightly callused from writing, Henry had met over the years, they were larger than his and suddenly he was even more aware of his own age, of how small his fingers looked interlocked with John's, how safe it felt.

"Henry, if something is troubling you, you can tell me." He had kneeled down besides the table to be able to look into the brunette man's eyes. Henry's heart was racing in his chest. "Is it because of the book? I know Robinson Crusoe is not what we usually read but I thought you might like it. We can read something else if you like-"

"I- it's not about the book... I... I think I'm in love with you!" Henry blurted out, his head was spinning as he finally said those words. He had been thinking about the best way to breach this topic for weeks, however this was not how he had imagined it to go. In his mind it was after finishing a romantic novel about two people defying all odds to be with each other. Henry would put the book aside with a smile, his hands finding John's. He'd slowly inch closer until he would be practically sitting in the older man's lap and then whisper softly into his ear. This however was far from his imagination.

John let go of his hands abruptly, his eyes widened as he staggered two steps backwards. "No, Henry, you don't. It's- it's probably the hunger making you say weird things, here let me fetch you a plate-" He moved to get Henry his plate but the younger man stopped him by grabbing his arm. He could feel the muscles underneath the thin blouse.

John's eyes were pleading but Henry knew he had to get this off his chest. "Please, John, please I love you. Don't push me away after all we've been through." The older man's eyes were huge and filled with tears. "Oh Henry, my sweet Henry, I could never be so cruel. But I have to insist. Please for your own sake, don't nurture these feelings. I'm old, and I have a reputation. I don't want to ruin yours."

"John I don't care that people know your a sodomite, and I don't care what they're thinking about me. All I know is that since we got off the Beagle I've been thinking about you in every waking hour. I- I've been fantasizing about… about you. About us together. I never felt this way before, not even with-" It was hard to speak her name after all the time. "Not even with Rose. I loved her. I still do, but it was different, I felt different when I was with her then when I am with you. You feel… safe. With you I feel like some part of myself has decided to leave me, to be permanently with you. I feel like I'm not myself when I'm not around you! I wake up and the first thing that comes to my mind is you. I go on about my day and all I can think of is what you might be doing right now. I go to sleep and dream about you. Always you…"

Henry knew he was far from a poet but he couldn't deny how nice his words sounded when he spoke them out loud. For someone who had only recently learned to articulate himself this well he was rather proud. John was silent. The tears that shimmered in his eyes fell freely now.

"My sweet Henry, how could I ever say no to you?" He allowed the younger man's hands to interlock their hands once more. He grew bolder, lifting the hand towards his lips to leave butterfly light kisses on each knuckle.

John's eyes fluttered close and a shiver run through his body. It made Henry wonder just how desperate the man was for physical contact to another human being.

Henry's lips traveled up the older man's arm towards the place his tattoo rested. He left a kiss on the still clothed spot and traveled even higher. John trembled like a leave underneath his lips and he leaned into the contact. "I've been wanting to do this for a long time." Henry confessed.

"I… I- are you sure about this?"

"Shhh." Henry had reached the older man's face, he was so close he could feel the older man's breath on his cheeks. "I've never been so sure about anything in my life." He breathed against John's skin before leaning in to press their lips together.

He could feel John gasp into the kiss, his hands flew up to burry themselves in Henry's shorter hair, pulling him even closer into the kiss. They pulled apart after what felt like an eternity, Henry's head was spinning, mostly from the lack of oxygen. "That- that was- really good." He admitted. John gave him a warm smile. "We haven't even started my dear." He promised, slowly lifting the younger man's sweater. Henry let him, playing with the buttons of John's blouse. He noticed one of the buttons was buttoned into the wrong hole and smiled.

The smell of something burning hit his nostrils. "Uhm, John your-"

The steward gasped and pulled away, scrambling into the kitchen area to pull the burned food off the stove. He lifted the pot towards his face and pulled a face. Henry couldn't help himself, he started to laugh wholeheartedly.

"Oh you-" John scolded, he was visibly struggling to hold his own laughing back. " How do fresh pastries sound?" Henry, still giggling, nodded his head and moved to stand behind the older man. He wrapped his arms around John and rocked them back and forth.

"How long has it been?" He asked honestly. "What? The porridge, we'll you're supposed to take it off the stove after a couple of minutes-"

Henry sighed. "Not the food. John, how long have you been alone? Longing for someone to touch you?" He was afraid he had overstep his boundaries when John froze in his arms.

"Too long, Henry. Way too long." Their lips locked once more, this time Henry dared to open his mouth, his tongue licked into the older man's mouth. He groaned.

"Bed." Was all John said in between kisses. He manoeuvered their bodies through the room, accidentally banging his hip into the table. "Ouch!" He let go off Henry's shoulders to rub his hips. "Shall I kiss it better?" Henry asked cheekily, wriggling his eyebrows at the older man. John looked at him with a glint in his dark eyes. "My god, who are you and what have you done to my Henry?" He asked jokingly.

Henry grinned and flopped down on the bed. He wasn't, however, prepared for how cushioned it was as he was almost catapulted off the matress again. "Sorry, old bones. I need something soft under my back." John said apologetically. "You're not that old, John." His lover reminded him with a kiss to his cheeks. "Now; could you do me a favor and finish what you started?" He pressed his upper body against the older man who struggled to keep upright on the bed. "Alright, alright."

Soon they were both undressed and lying on top of each other, trading kisses and exploring skin that had until recently been hidden by fabric. Henry moaned when John found his nipple and began stroking the small buds into hardness. It felt good. In all the time he had been with Rose they had never tried something like this. Now he felt like he had missed out on something.

"Is this good?" John asked, he lowered his face towards the younger man's chest to lick a stripe upwards to his nipples. Henry only nodded, his eyes clenched shut. "Yesss John." He slurred. His soft member was slowly starting to come to life as more and more blood rushed into his lower region and by the feeling of it, he wasn't the only one who was affected by their passionate make out. John's member was already painfully hard and leaking against Henry's hips.

The older man spend some more time on his lovers nipples, liking and sucking until he was trashing from side to side. " 's too much! Please John!" Henry pleaded, opening his dark eyes to look at his lover.

He was smiling lopsided at him. "Are you sure about this?" He asked in earnest. "I don't want you to regret what we're about to do."

Henry nodded his head. "John I'm certain. Now please, please fuck me." He wasn't usually one to swear. So saying these things felt strange. John pulled a face, apparently he wasn't a big fan of hearing his lovers swearing either.

His hands grabbed Henry's member, stroking him up and down. Henry decided that he liked what he felt. It was different, so different from what he was used to but at the same time it felt so much better, so much more exciting. John knew exactly what he was doing when he stroked him in earnest, cupping his balls and rolling them in his hand. Henry's eyes closed on their own accord, a wave of pleasure washed over him. "Ah-" A single sound escaped his kiss swollen lips. Then again. John was speeding up his strokes. Henry's member was painfully hard and leaking precum at the top which made it easier for John to keep up his strokes. "Oh, John, this is good b- but I'm c- close. Oh!" His lover gave one last stroke before he stopped his movements. Henry whined at the loss of friction. He tried to trust his hips against his lover but he held him down.

"Shhh, sweet thing. I know." John reassured. He got up from the bed and walked back towards the kitchen. Henry frowned in confusion. "John?"

"One second." He rummaged in the different drawers until he pulled out a small jar. "It's olive oil." He explained on his way back. "It helps to… to ease the way into your- well you know." Henry's eyes widened, suddenly he started blushing furiously. "I- yes of course. Uhh… I- sorry I've never done this before."

John opened the lid and began coating his own member in the oil. Afterwards he spread some more on his fingers before setting the jar down. "I don't want to hurt you but it might feel a bit unpleasant at first." He warned. Henry swallowed around the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. "It's alright, John, I trust you."

John leaned down to gave his lover another quick stroke before he moved even lower. Henry's mouth went dry, he wanted to say something but no words would come to his mind. He could feel John's finger at his entrance, slowly circling the hot flesh. Then he dipped on finger inside.

Henry groaned. It did felt strange at first, not exactly unpleasant but just… strange. Unfamiliar.

John pulled out again only to move back in, easing his way deeper ever so slightly. When he deemed it right a second finger joined the first one, they soon found a nice and slow rythm. Now Henry could feel himself being stretched. Briefly he wondered if this was how Rose had felt on the night they had first shared a bed together. It didn't hurt but it burned at first. The burning sensation soon disappeared, John tried to help it by kissing his lovers hot and sweaty skin. His lips traveled down the soft trail of dark hair on his lovers chest. Soon Henry had forgotten about John's fingers altogether, he watched the older man through half lidded eyes, feeling waves of pleasure wash over him.

That was until John pulled out all of sudden. "Don't stop!" He whined, his voice was high pitched in desperation. John smiled against his skin. "Just a second my dear." He aligned his body until he was sitting in between Henry's spread legs, his cock stood proudly against his own abdomen, a drop of precum was rolling down his length. Henry swallowed down the urge to lick it off. He was curious what it would taste like.

"Ready?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "Ready John." John pulled him forward by the hips. He took himself into his hand and carefully slipped inside. It burned, even more than his fingers had burned. Henry inhaled sharply. They repeated this motion a couple of times until the burning stopped and gave way to pleasure.  
John started to speed up a bit, the old bed underneath them creaked loudly. Henry dared to move, his legs wrapped around John's hips. Suddenly the older man hit a particular good spot that had the younger man call out in pleasure.

"Oh my god!" He shouted loudly. John quickly shushed him with a hand on his mouth. "Shhh, the neighbors can hear you." He said but repeated the movement eagerly. Henry's eyes rolled back in his head. His body went slack. Every nerve in his body felt like it was on fire. "John! Oh god! Don't stop." He babbled louder and louder, neighbors be damned. John speed up again, his hips lost their rythm from time to time, his sweaty palm slipped off his lovers lips. Henry could see how close he was.

"More please, I need-" A hand was on his member in a matter of seconds, stroking quickly. It was too much. The hand on his erection, John's cock buried deep inside of him hitting his sweet spot over and over again until he was seeing stars, his climax washed over him with the force of a storm in the middle of the ocean, he trashed off the bed with a low groan before falling back into the damp sheets, utterly boneless.

John watched in fascination. He quickly pulled out to finish himself off on his lovers stomach, adding to the mess he had made.

They lay together afterwards, panting. John was leaving kisses along his lovers throat, his fingers played with Henry's short hair. His forehead was sticky with sweat and his hair clung to the skin.

"I… I enjoyed that very much." Henry confessed when he was sure his voice wouldn't fail him. He could feel John grin against his skin. "Good." He sucked another kiss against his lovers skin before he got up from the bed to get a rag.

He cleaned Henry as if he was one of the many lieutenants he had served, almost as if he was worshipping him. Henry couldn't remember the last time he felt so loved in his life. When he was done, John disposed the rag and lay down beside Henry again. Outside the sun climbed higher in the sky. It was well past morning.

"We still haven't had breakfast." Henry mumbled into the cushions feeling drowsy all of sudden. " 'mhm." John replied without opening his eyes, he wrapped his arms around the younger man's body. "Five more minutes 'nd we get up." He promised.

They didn't woke up before dinner time that day. John grinned as he watched his lover dress hastily, his chest was slightly red from John's beard. "I know a nice pub that's relatively close." He explained as the two men made their way towards the door. "Lead the way then, my dear."

**Author's Note:**

> Spare comments? Spare some comments ma'am?


End file.
